10 ways to BBQ on an exoplanet

Feature | May 28, 2018

There are over 3,700 planets in our galaxy. Spend Memorial Day barbecuing it up on any of these alien worlds.

Illustration of a lava world

1) Lava World – Janssen (aka 55 Cancri e)

Hang your steak on a fishing pole and dangle your meat over the boiling pools of lava on this possible magma world. Try two to three minutes on each side to get an ashy feast of deliciousness.

Illustration of a hot Jupiter crossing its star

2) Hot Jupiter – Dimidium (aka 51 Pegasi b)

Set your grill to 1800 degrees Fahrenheit (982 degrees Celsius) or hop onto the first exoplanet discovered and get a perfect char on your hot dogs. By the time your dogs are done, it’ll be New Year’s Eve, because a year on this planet is only four days long.

GIF of a Super Earth travel poster

3) Super Earth – HD 40307 g

Super air fry your duck on this Super Earth, as you skydive in the intense gravity of a planet seven times as massive as Earth. Why are you air frying a duck? We don’t know. Why are you skydiving on an exoplanet? We’re not judging.

Illustration of a lightning storm on HAT-P-11b

4) Lightning Neptune – HAT-P-11b

I’ve got steaks, they’re multiplying/and I’m looooosing control. Cause the power this planet is supplying/is electrifying!

Sear your tuna to perfection in the lightning strikes that scientists once thought flashed across the stormy skies of this Neptune-like planet.

Illustration of Kepler-16b from a travel poster

5) Red Earth – Kepler-186f

Tired of all that meat? Try a multi-colored salad with the vibrant plants that could grow under the red sun of this Earth-sized planet. But it could also be a lifeless rock, so BYOB (bring your own barbecue).

Illustration of Kepler-70b

6) Inferno World – Kepler-70b

Don’t take too long to prep your vegetables for the grill! The hottest planet on record will flash-incinerate your veggies in seconds!

Cartoon illustration of WASP-12b

7) Egg-shaped – WASP-12b

Picture this: You are pressure cooking your chicken on a hot gas giant in the shape of an egg. And you’re under pressure to cook fast, because this gas giant is being pulled apart by its nearby star.

GIF of a travel poster for Kepler-16b

8) Two suns – Kepler-16b

Evenly cook your ribs in a dual convection oven under the dual stars of this “Tatooine.” Kick back and watch your two shadows grow in the fading light of a double sunset.

Illustration of a travel poster from Venus

9) Venus

Order in for a staycation in our own solar system. The smell of rotten eggs rising from the clouds of sulfuric acid and choking carbon dioxide will put you off cooking, so get that meal to go.

Illustration of a travel poster from Earth

10) Earth

Sometimes the best vacations are the ones you take at home. Flip your burgers on the only planet where you can breathe the atmosphere.

Come grill us on Twitter this Memorial Day, and tell us how bad our jokes are!